well 2007 is over for now, and the death of my 2 loved ones really hit me a lot. although i may not show it but their deaths really made me think a lot about life. my life in fact.
i always thought that i would at least have ah ma and ahpei with me till i am like 20 plus but i didnt. it really hurts now and then to just think of them. but mayeb their death isnt a bad thing cos they wont have to suffer in this world anymore. they will be in a place where there will be no pain and just purely happiness. (:
i really miss them a lot.
thinking of all the things that i have not done with them; like repaying ahma or not getting closer to ahpei etc, i really regret it.
i wish i could turn back time and do everything that i have not done.
but i guess another thing that i should be glad is that since they are gone, i realise more things (like not being close to family members) and it's their deaths that made me grow up and cherish my whole CHUA family. i grew more mature and i know more about life.
they will always remain in my heart!
but somehow, i really fear that i will forget them someday...
my sisters keep saying that 你以为每个人都像你哭那么少。but it is not that i didnt want to cry, i couldnt. i dont know why but i just couldnt kept crying then. for a moment i would just be really tired and then it stops. not crying doesnt mean that i am not devestated. WHY NO ONE UNDERSTANDS?
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